Sunday, December 6, 2009

Or maybe it's that bottle of rum I had for dinner! *hic* How YOU doin', baby?

Sometimes I am happy.

A lot of the time, I'm not. Most anyone who knows me would tell you I am not a happy person. They'd say I'm moody, prone to temper tantrums, quick to sulk and form inexplicable grudges, almost psychotically self-deprecating, and that I cry like a little bitch when I'm stressed. And they would be right. Especially about the crying like a little bitch part. Man, if there were one emotional response I could train myself out of, I'm telling you.

But sometimes, for no reason at all, or for a lot of little reasons that might not seem to add up to very much at all, I just feel so - content? Glad? I wouldn't say I wouldn't trade lives with anyone - give me someone without student loans or what I shall only refer to as "the monkeyhawk profile" - but, you know, sometimes it isn't so bad, being me. I've got some pretty rad friends, some nifty interests, a little bit of skill and/or talent, and a sense of humour. And even though I have seven papers to do that I should be working on right now, sometimes, that's enough.

Now if I could only stop ordering delivery pizza! Hahahahahaha!ohgodpleasehelpitisanaddiction

Monday, September 28, 2009

All I can smell are tomatoes.

So a couple of days ago I got an email from the campus bookstore telling me I had won a door prize during Student Appreciation Day. Cool, I thought. Maybe I had won a sweater. Or maybe a gift certificate. or, I don't know, if I wanted to get really pathetic, a keychain or a pen. The prospect of this mystery present was enough to drag my exhausted and fluish ass out of bed and ten minutes down the hill today so I could claim my prize. After all, I didn't want them to give away my sweater to someone else.

It was a five-page pack of specialty printer paper that self-adhesives into a little booklet for presentations.

I don't even own a printer.

I struggled back up the hill - have I mentioned my fluish ass? Complete with aching thigh muscles? - and ducked into the cafeteria for some supper. I decided on pasta with tomato sauce, and a popsicle to sooth my scratchy throat. (Fluish ass? Ringing a bell?)

At which point I spill the plate of pasta with tomato sauce into the ice cream cooler.

A scraper from the grill may have been commandeered to chip it out.

Needless to say, prying at hunks of frozen pasta with tomato sauce quelled my appetite. I settled on a muffin and some fruit and walked further up the hill to my dorm.

The overhead light has burnt out in my room

And I left my umbrella at the bookstore. Which is closed for the day.

...

*headdesk*

Spectacular Spice Rack

You know, I don't enjoy suffering from chronic insomnia, mostly because it makes me miss classes and sleep in until four in the afternoon like an unemployed deadbeat (which I guess I am as I don't have a job and am massively in debt), but I do sort of like the feeling after pulling an all-nighter. It's what I imagine being drunk or high or possibly both must be like - you feel disconnected from everything around you, yet at the same time feel greatly amused. Like the world's a joke you have to condescend to without letting it know you're laughing, because then its feelings would be hurt.

And I'm sorry if that's not making sense, but I watched a lot of Mad Men yesterday and I think it's affecting my speech patterns. Why was there so much Mad Men on yesterday, anyway? Do they do these marathons every Sunday, or was AMC just like, oh, we've run out of movies, let us show back-to-back hit drama while we cook up another batch?

BTW, according to Mad Men, the 1960s were about:

1) Smoking

2) Drinking

3) Adultery

4) Really pretty dresses

5) Joan Holloway
Damn, Girl!

SERIOUSLY. I don't easily recognize a person's attractive qualities, but her rack is actually a RACK. Not to objectify a woman based on her breasts, but I'm pretty sure I could use her d├ęcolletage to keep spices on as I cook. AND THEY WOULD STAY THERE. It defies physics, it really does.

Plus she has red hair. I miss having red hair. I think I might dye mine again once my Sheer Blonde shampoo runs out.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have sex with her. But I would be very nice about turning her down. And then I would try balancing something on her spectacular cleavage. Probably a cat.

I promise to take pictures! Dude: Cats 'n' Racks.

Friday, August 14, 2009

The Seventeen Essentials

Last Sunday, I went with my writing group (a) to a writing retreat (b), where I wrote very little (c) because I had writers' block (d) and none of my current plots were interesting me (e). However, I did admire the wild bunnies (f) and ate more than my share of the strawberries in the fruit tray (g). And I talked about crazy internet fandom happenings (h) with some new acquaintances (i). Later that day, I attended a meeting of my knitting group (j) at Reads Newsstand (k). I worked on the beaded scarf (l) that I've been fiddling with since May (m). I also paged through a book of patterns (n) someone had brought with them and made a mental note of several projects (o). Arriving back home three hours later, I watched disc two of season six of The Simpsons (p) instead of going to sleep (q).

This paragraph of events tells you Seventeen Essentials of my character:
a) I have a writing group, comprised of several awesome individuals, each more talented than the last.
b) We often go on adventures together, sometimes even wacky ones.
c) Though I belong to a writing group, I don't write very much at all.
d) This is because I suffer from crippling attacks of writers' block.
e) Which occur whenever my interest fizzles out on a plot (this happens a lot).
f) I am a lover of animals in all shapes and sizes. Except for rodents. (Except for hamsters.)
g) I loves me some sweets - fruit, pie, cake, or cookie. Usually the higher fat content ones.
h) I am a lurker in several online fandoms, most notably Doctor Who and Torchwood. I like to share my stories of batshit fanwank.
i) I have wildly inapproriate conversations about said fanwank. It's fun!
j) I knit and crochet, with more enthusiasm than actual skill.
k) I loves me some coffee.
l) I love projects that are beyond my skill set.
m) My attention span wanders off before most projects are finished, but I'm a stubborn lass who will force herself to knit with the fiddlest mohair if she's got it in her head to do so.
n) My bank account does not love pattern books, but I most definitely do.
o) I have more ideas than time or money for projects.
p) The Simpsons is my one true love.
q) I am a dedicated insomniac.

Oh, and that I am writing about last Sunday on the following Friday is a special bonus Essential: I couldn't be on time to save my life. Hence the first post in this blog appearing nearly three weeks after I registered it.

You should probably get used to that.